WASHINGTON (Reuters) — Union halls around the nation are receiving mass cancellations of reservations made in recent months for the night of November 6, according to informed sources.
The reservations were made in the expectation of multicultural parties on Election Night — fiestas to celebrate the nation’s wondrous rainbow — for what was generally assumed to be an easy re-election of President Obama.
However, poll results in the last few weeks showing Republican contender Mitt Romney tied or, in some cases, ahead of President Obama, have cast a pall over the nation’s collectivist cell meetings, which are held every Saturday night in taverns.
And outside check-cashing establishments in minority neighborhoods.
And in Ivy League faculty lounges and boardrooms of the national media, except Fox.
History shows that when contestants are tied, the incumbent invariably loses.
Simultaneously, an upsurge in reservations has been noted in Episcopal Churches and party salons of private elementary, junior and senior high schools in exclusive neighborhoods across the nation.
Reports on MSNBC that backwoods barns and cabins of the Ku Klux Klan were also seeing an increase in party planning for Election Night could not be confirmed by Fox News or any other Fair and Balanced media.
Ann Romney was allegedly spotted in a Boston Barney’s over the weekend choosing a special plate service to be engraved with the Presidential Seal and a Mormon prayer.
And Mitt Romney was reported to have said in his private club that, barring being caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy, there was no way he could lose on November 6.
He lit a $500 cigar with a silver-plated Zippo and said: We’re back, boys!