Just say no

I OFFER this as a public service.

Alas, most folks who read The Unseen Moon, I imagine, are far from being adults with young children.

I read a news story not long ago, an interview with an Army drill sergeant. He said that most recruits today had clearly never had anyone tell them “no” and mean it.

Most of these kids are in universities now, not the Army.

18 thoughts on “Just say no”

  1. One of the many nice things about Mexico is that you don’t get carted off to jail if you discipline your children here, with a meaningful slap or two. Parents can’t be friends with their children until they move out of the house. Now the problems is the kids stay in the house until they are 40.
    Great video, more new parents need to see that.

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  2. There are many cultural differences between the US and Mexico. Mexican parents watch their children like hawks and family relationships are considerably more important with more obligations.

    The Yuppie “me” generation had a tendency to neglect their kids. Critics warned that Dr. Spock was too “permissive,” and that coddling babies and children could eventually make them self-indulgent and rebellious.

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    1. Andrés: The problems with American parents, as the good doctor mentions in the video, began in the 1960s. Actually, the birth of the American cultural decline began then. It has only worsened.

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  3. My grandson is 8 and a good kid. Very mature for his age, reads at a high level, has meltdowns and is stubborn about doing things he’s asked to do. A lot of influence comes from other kids in his class such as talking potty mouth stuff (that doesn’t happen at home) and those kids in his class are influenced by older siblings. It’s a matter of having complete trust between parents and child such that parents will say their child should not say or do those things in polite company because they are wrong. As was said before, time with kids is limited in many families mainly because of being a two-income family in demanding jobs. Home life is a huge component of how a child turns out.

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  4. I was reared in an incredibly strict household, held to high expectations, and taught good manners. It has served me well. I’d also add that if the expectations were met, I had WAY more freedom than most of my contemporaries. But if I failed, the hammer came down hard.

    Today as a third-party observer, I’m constantly appalled at what kids can get away with. Even if I disobeyed my parents as a child, I never told them “no” to their faces, at least not if I hoped to live another day. Today it’s amazing at the quantity of sheer refusal you see from some kids, and the parents just accept it.

    As for people being afraid to show some authority, it’s worse than you think. Just watch some of those “bad dog” or “bad cat” TV shows. People can’t even show authority to their pets any more. It’s pathetic.

    And yes, I think it’s part of cultural decline, and there seems to be no end in sight.

    Saludos,

    Kim G
    Redding, CA
    Where the kids seem to be mostly well-behaved.

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    1. Go to any restaurant in California and experience what the lack of disapline or control is. Kids running around bothering all the patrons while the parents think it’s perfectly acceptable. As you say, we would never have survived another day.

      It’s the parents fault 80%. At leastin Mexico the kids will play outside with the other family kids while the parents enjoy their time.

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  5. The problem is not a kid problem.
    The problem is a parenting problem.
    The problem is a lack of love.

    If you do not give your children positive attention and positive time with you, they’ll get your attention in a negative fashion or any way they can.

    How often did your parents tell you that they loved you?
    How often they hug or kiss you?
    How often did they play with you?
    How much time did they spend with you?

    Parents have to love themselves before they can love their significant partner and their children.

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  6. It is hard to raise children when they have no father figure, and worse when the mother has no idea who he is. The child grows up with a sense of entitlement, feeling that society owes them some thing. The government owes them food stamps, a free school lunch, a telephone and a dependent way of life. If they want something, they just take it.

    I am afraid that the problem is not that we cared too little for the poor, but that we cared too much.

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    1. Shelagh: It’s a burdensome task, this child-rearing. Or so I hear. My first wife and I split when my daughter was 5. I was never directly involved in child-rearing again. I think I would have been good at it, but likely a bit heavy-handed. My first wife and my daughter were “friends,” very fashionable then and now. You can imagine how that turned out.

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    1. Señor Gill: Very much so. Alas, she does not feel the same. I divorced her mama, and her mama never forgave me. To this day. Then they disappeared into Canada for three years when mama’s new boyfriend jumped bail on a drug-dealing charge. When the Mounties caught up with them, and they were sent back to Louisiana, things were never quite the same between my daughter and me. She was gone from age 8 to 11.

      Then things got pretty good, I thought, when she was in young adulthood, but when I moved to Mexico, she reacted very negatively. I’ve invited her here more than once, but she’s never come. She and her hubby prefer repeat trips to Hawaii and Europe. And even other parts of Mexico. It’s a lost cause. Wish it weren’t.

      She’s 51 now and has gray hair.

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