Mexican life

Bull dick taco

IMAGINE MY horror.

But first, let’s back up a bit.

It was just two weeks ago roundabouts that I was standing beside my favorite fast-food stand on our small plaza downtown, eating a shrimp cocktail.

The proprietress with the bleach-blonde tresses tossed a meat cylinder of some questionable appearance on the chopping block and proceeded to dice it with a cleaver.

What is that? I inquired, foolishly. She was chopping a cooked bull penis. Again, imagine my horror.

Part of said material landed atop a tostada with all the trimmings and served to a customer. My mind reeled.

You run into some pretty weird stuff living down here, but this one had passed me by. In the 17 years since I crossed the Rio Bravo, that was the first I’d heard of this, uh, delicacy.

I finished my shrimp cocktail and walked away.

Then yesterday I was on the big plaza. There’s a new taco restaurant near my sister-in-law’s coffee shop. I was hungry, so I stepped in and stood by the stove.

While waiting to order, there it was, a familiar sight. The cook dropped a bull penis on the grill. I knew it by sight because it’s not something you easily forget. He diced it and served it on tacos to the customers ahead of me.

Returning to the coffee shop with a couple of normal tacos — they weren’t very good, by the way — I asked my child bride and her sister if they had eaten bull dick tacos. My sister-in-law said yes and that they were quite tasty.

My wife said no, thank God. I can still kiss her.

58 thoughts on “Bull dick taco

    1. Good Lord, Ms. Shoes, what a memory you have. They were both disturbing, but the sheep’s head takes the cake because I had previously eaten from that tub before the sheep’s head made its appearance on the murky surface. I would link to that drama now, but the item has gone with the wind as has the entire “Zapata Tales.”

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  1. To each his own to coin a phrase. You likely did not know what you were eating no telling how many times before the time you saw the raw meat being processed for the flames.

    Personally, the sheep’s head rendering is the one that gets me. That because this gringo as a kid stomped a lot of wool sacks and doctored lots of wormy sheep.

    Have to give these folks credit for not being wasteful but they can’t count on me as a customer if they tell me what’s in the stew.

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    1. Ricardo: You remember the sheep’s head saga? That was over a decade back. I did not think you were reading this end of Mexican cyberspace that long ago. Time flies.

      No, I have never eat the material in question because I always order the same thing: pastor. I am a man of eternal habit, thank God in this case.

      As for being wasteful, I have a theory about the dining on such things as the bull penis and pig’s feet, etc. They are not things, in my opinion, that one would eat if better options were available. They started as poor-people’s food, stuff you had to eat if you wanted to eat. But now, when other, better items are available, people still eat them because they’ve become part of the culture, their origins forgotten.

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  2. Never heard of that one. I’ve heard of “tacos de cabeza” which are made of cow brains and that the vendors have an actual cow head and reach inside to scoop out the stuff. That’s disgusting enough. Out of curiosity, what were those tacos called in Spanish?

    Alfredo

    BTW, the polite name is “penis tacos.”

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    1. Señor Lanier: As stated, I had never come across it before that I knew of, but I suspect I had because I’ve stood before plenty of taco stands.

      I did not hear the order being made, so I don’t know what the locals call them in español.

      Tacos de cabeza are yucky too, but in a different way. I don’t eat them either. I have my standards, my pride.

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      1. I enjoy eating tacos de cabeza but only if they are low fat, gluten free and vegan.

        No, seriously, it’s delicious but not appealing when they are greasy.

        “Tacos Los Rodríguez”, across from Super Nasa are the best I’ve had in Pátzcuaro. I usually order “un plato grande” rather than tacos, because it is so savory.

        I confess that I would have to draw the line at eating tacos del pito.

        Saludos,
        Don Cuevas

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          1. Amigo, there has been no interior head much in the tacos de cabeza I’ve eaten. If anything, it’s simply meat, often somewhat coarse grained and unfailingly delicious. Maybe if you specifically order “sesos” (brains) you might get mush.

            Among the choice bits are lengua (tongue) and it costs extra.

            If pride enters into this subject at all, I take pride in having an adventurous palate.

            But the grossest dish of this type that I’ve had was a bowl of birria de chivo surtida, estilo de Apatzingan. There were weird little tubes of quien sabe de que and other mystery morsels in the bowl. I don’t think I finished it.
            If you want to know where to find it, I’ll tell you.

            Saludos,
            Don Cuevas

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            1. Señor Cuevas: While I am adventurous in many areas (proved by where I live), eating is not one of those areas. As for wanting to know where to find that birria, well, no, I’ll pass. Thanks anyway.

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    1. Mark: I did not ask the price. I suspect they cost the same as the other tacos. I’ve never known a taco stand to charge but one price, no matter the ingredients. I am glad I gave Suzie a chuckle. No charge for that.

      By the way, your comment went to moderation because you typed your last name, which you normally do not do. Any sort of change triggers the moderation thingy.

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  3. There are also Tacos de Nano … uterus. I’m from the South, but I don’t eat chitlins either. Culture Shock! The poor eat everything, including the smile. I’ve seen videos from China and India that would turn an Army cook’s stomach.

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    1. Señor Mystic: Well, there’s another new one for me. Uterus. Jeez. As for chitlins, I have never eaten them, and I’m from the South too.

      Yes, we can attribute these things to poor people. That’s why this miserable stuff is first devoured. And then it becomes part of the culture, and people eat them even though they don’t have to. They can afford better things.

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    2. I’m having those today, (hot dogs) with warm sauerkraut. It’s my birthday and I get to eat whatever crap I want. (As always).

      Yes, I have eaten tacos de nano, in the Mercado de Medellín, in Mexico City. I have to say that they weren’t a taste treat.

      In the end, it’s all DNA.

      Saludos,
      Don Cuevas

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  4. Did you know some of this stuff used to be in boudin about 50 years ago? Then it was pork. I never use the “debris” today, never. So I don’t know if it changes the flavor. Maybe smaller is not better. I enjoyed the humor in this post, thanks

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    1. Carlos: No, I did not know that about boudin, but I love boudin. I wish I had some white boudin from around Lafayette right now. It’s one of the few things I miss from the United States. As for “debris,” do you know why giblet gravy is called giblet gravy? Because if they called it what it really is, nobody would eat it. I sure wouldn’t, but I have. I didn’t know any better.

      Glad you got a kick out of the post. Fortunately, you did not have to witness what I witnessed. It was dreadful.

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  5. So pene isn’t just a pasta dish, eh? Hard to swallow…dicking around in the kitchen…the puns just make themselves up.

    Very funny post!

    Saludos,

    Kim G
    Redding, CA
    Which is not an epicenter of “delicacies.”

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  6. Only twelve comments about “Moderate Muslims,” but so far 27 comments about this fine cuisine. I can see where this is going. Eat the weenies. Are they halal?

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    1. Señor Gill: I was surprised there were even 12 comments on the Mohammedan video. Six, actually, because I usually respond to each one.

      As for weenies, as I mentioned, I probably eat about two a year here. I buy them from a cart on the plaza downtown, and they don’t need to be halal because you likely can count the number of Mohammedans here on less than the fingers of one hand, which is to say, zero.

      I like it that way.

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  7. Mexicans sure know how to use EVERY part of the animal. I learned that lesson well. I tell my wife I am a meat snob. I only eat certain cuts of meat. She eats it all. I’ll have to ask her if she has had bull dick taco though. I never have though, Felipe, so you can still kiss me! Ha ha!

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    1. Mike: I still may be able to kiss you, young feller, but if your wife says she’s eaten bull dick tacos, you certainly cannot kiss her anymore. It just wouldn’t be seemly.

      As mentioned, my wife has not eaten bull dick tacos, but she’s up for eating just about anything. She’s eaten grasshopper tacos! Yuck. What is it with these people?

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    1. Ray: I ate hot dogs about as often when I lived in the U.S. as I do now. Probably even fewer. Around 1980, I lost about 50 pounds, mostly by just improving my eating habits, which included not eating hamburgers and hot dogs. My coworkers on the Houston Chronicle used to make fun of the food I brought to work in the evenings. They, of course, were ordering pizza and hamburgers. I had my salads.

      So, yeah, I’m pretty pure.

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  8. I just get back from months in the bush and then read this. Ouch. Thanks for the heads up (bada boom) on the bull penis tacos. When things are chopped up they could be anything. I guess what all that hot sauce is for. Cheers.

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    1. Brent: Welcome back from the bush! It’s been lonely here without you.

      When the bull dicks come off the griddle, or however they are cooked (the two I’ve seen so far had the appearance of being boiled), it is pretty obvious what they are. After they are diced, however, they could be anything. One must be alert. The color, however, is beige.

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  9. Squeamish — a person easily made to feel sick, faint, or disgusted, especially by unpleasant images, such as the sight of blood, etc.

    This is indeed a very humorous blog.

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