The Valentine Meatloaf


THE SEX MOTEL next door is offering a Valentine’s discount this week, two hours of heavy breathing and howls for 100 pesos (about $5.50 U.S.), the price of a sleazy hooker in West Virginia. But here it’s BYOP, bring your own partner.

Valentine’s Day has additional meaning for the two of us at the Hacienda. It was on Valentine’s Day in 2002 that I first overnighted with my future child bride in her condo in Mexico City. We consider it an additional anniversary, the other being the official one when we legally married here in April of that same year.

That first Valentine’s was a night I’ll never forget in large part due to the godawful supper she served up. Not knowing my culinary preferences at that point, she figured she couldn’t go wrong with meat. Men want meat! What she plopped on my plate that night resembled a Meatloaf from Hell. And I ate it.

It was dreadful, but we laugh about it now.

My stomach was churning the rest of the night, which rather put a damper on the other activities I had preferred to focus on. Oh, well. It was worth it.

22 thoughts on “The Valentine Meatloaf

  1. For a while, problem prisoners at the Arizona State Prison were put on a meatloaf diet as a punishment. Meatloaf three times a day for an eternity. No side stuff, no desserts, just the meatloaf.


    1. Señor Gill: I bet some of those cons liked that “punishment.” I love a good meatloaf. Alas, what my child bride made that night was not meatloaf. I’m not sure what it was. I just used “meatloaf” to write about it, but God knows what was in that hunk of greasy, cheesy meat.


  2. The best meatloaf I ever ate was in New Mexico. It had pinon nuts baked into it. The Indians collect the nuts, but they don’t pick them themselves, they rob them from the squirrel nests. They are supposed to put some kernels of corn back to replace the nuts. When I found out that was how they are collected, I quit eating pinon nuts. Bubonic plague is endemic in the rodent population of the Colorado plateau.


  3. This reminds me of an advice to the new groom article in an old (~1958) Hustler magazine: “On your way home for your first meal cooked by your new bride, stop and fill up on a juicy hamburger. Then when the meal is served, play with it, and take a small bite from here and there. Your reward will be a lifetime of trying to please you with the best meals.”


    1. Phil: Well, that is one approach, not one I’d want to take, but life was different in the 1950s. Most women stayed home and cooked and cleaned like the Good Lord intended. The good ole days. If only we could return.

      But you did not see that in Hustler in the 1950s. It sounded odd, so I investigated. The first Hustler appeared in 1974. You must be thinking of Playboy which debuted in 1953.


  4. In the 1950s people went to jail for having “Hustler” type magazines. “Playboy” was kept under the counter, and one had to ask for it. My older brother had a couple of issues which he hid under my younger brother’s mattress. The Mennonite cleaning woman found them. I quickly checked under my mattress and then fled the scene. All Hell broke loose. Everyone in the neighborhood now knew someone was a pervert.

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  5. It was a different time. In church they told us that the devil worked through comic books and pinball machines. We were always practicing for the Communist to lay an A-bomb on us. Remember “Duck and Cover”? They may be coming over the horizon at any time. It scared the bejeezus out of us.


    1. Señor Gill: I never went to a church like that. Actually, I almost never went to a church at all when I was a kid, just when I visited my paternal grandparents near Atlanta. They were very enthusiastic church people. No, I do not remember “Duck and Cover,” but I can guess what that was from the title. Fortunately, the Soviets, like communists always do, collapsed.


    1. Thirsty: I was in the Air Force. I do not recall meatloaf there, but it’s likely that I just do not remember. I do remember S.O.S, Shit On a Shingle. I liked that very much. What I liked best about the mess hall, however, was the endless supply of milk. I loved to drink milk. You could drink milk till it was coming out your eyeballs if you wanted to.


  6. Believe it or not, all military chow halls are supposed to serve the same meal every day no matter where they are located. But sometimes it is subject to local supplies. A meal in Viet Nam could be really different from that served in Texas.

    Liked by 1 person

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