If it doesn’t mess with you, don’t mess with it.
After decades of recommending routine PSA tests for men, the entire U.S. medical community has seen the light.
Don’t fool with the bean if you don’t want to wake the Hydra.
The bean lives in a man’s Bermuda Quadrangle, an area midway between the head and the feet. It is the most cherished, exciting, mysterious and perilous part of a man’s makeup.
Women embrace an area farther north, the pounding heart and singing soul, but for men it’s the Quadrangle.
This area consists of the man bean and three things that dangle: two round objects and a magic tube that can morph in a heartbeat.
The only things that approach the Quadrangle in importance for a man are beer and Monday Night Football.
I am a bizarre exception, caring neither for beer nor football on any night.
Just last week, a government report made it official: Leave the bean alone. If a man has no symptoms, it’s nuts to test the bean because it can open the proverbial can of worms, the details of which I’m too squeamish to mention.
This is wonderful news for men because we want nobody near the Quadrangle unless she is lovely, naked and carrying no sharp instruments.