Democrats anonymous

ballot
Felipe’s first GOP ballot, ready Friday for the mailbox.

HELLO, MY name is Felipe, and I’m a recovered Democrat.

(Audience: Hi, Felipe!)

I was a Democrat for over 60 years. I’d like to blame it on my parents, especially my father who was a flaming socialist, but I think more than anything, I simply was ignorant.

I childishly believed we live in a world that can be perfected. I believed in the efficacy of collectivism, and that government basically worked in our best interests.

(Audience: Howling laughter!)

Yes, I know how silly that sounds, and I am so ashamed that it took me decades to kick the Democrat habit.

I know now that government is good only for basics like protecting our borders, forming police forces, building interstate highways, and so on.

In most areas, government does things badly.

(Audience: Right on, Felipe!)

I’m proud to tell you that this year, at the age of 72, I voted Republican for the first time.

(Audience: Wild cheering!)

I had begun to doubt the Democrat Party in 2008 after learning of Barry Obama’s 20 years of sitting in his Chicago pew listening to the rants of the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, especially when Wright “damned America.”

We all know how fast the Democrat Party muzzled Jeremiah Wright. I sat out the 2008 presidential election.

By 2012, Barry Obama’s colors were blatantly obvious. I would have cast my first Republican vote that year, but the absentee ballot never made it to my mountaintop.

The ballot came this year. I checked the straight GOP ticket, and sent it Friday by registered mail.

(Audience: More wild cheering!)

Yes, I voted for Donald Trump!

(Audience: Goes berserk. Men stomp feet. Women weep.)

(Moderator: Thank you for sharing, Felipe. And now let’s all move to the rear of the hall for donuts and coffee.)*

* * * *

* The coffee and donuts turned out to be stale, but I hear it’s always that way.